This interview was done with Kevin Mahoney and Dave Bermosk at Warped Tour 2009 in Camden, NJ.

1. What made you decide to release the Coast to Coast EP as physical CD after all?
David: More money.
Kevin: [laughs] Do it all for the drugs and the money. Uh I think it was kind of the plan originally to but we wanted to do it digitally first. The whole CD is supposed to be kind of something special for the real fans. Just different ways. We also got a lot of requests for a physical CD.
David: It’s going to be cool because the artwork is going to be sweet for it.
Kevin: Yeah, the artwork’s really awesome. So it’s going to be kind of a collector’s thing pretty much.

2. “Skip School, Start Fights” is a little more upbeat than “This is a Stick Up…” Is there anything in particular that inspired this change? Or was it just a natural progression?
David: I think it uh just kind of naturally progressed and also like um we just like wanted to write music that that would be a little more fun to play live. The songs are little bit more technical. Definitely, definitely more of a “poppyness” to them but a little more technical. So it just makes them more fun to play live.

3. Was the AP Tour really different from others tours for you?
Kevin: In a way, yeah. It was kind of…you know, it’s a huge tour. Every show was sold out except for one. It was a huge thing but sometimes, too, especially when you get big tours like that there’s a lot of egos. And on that tour it was like everyone made best friends. Nobody had egos. It was like everyone had a lot of respect for each other’s bands. They were really happy for how good everyone was doing. I think the AP Tour every year, too, is like the tour of all the bands that are blowing up so I think that it makes sense that everyone is all happy for each other because everybody’s doing good in their own way.

4. What was it like doing the Absolute Punk chat?
Kevin: Those are always fun actually. I like those a lot. They’re cool. You know, you just sit there, you’re comfortable somewhere. They’re always confusing at first because I have ADD and there’s so much going on so I’m just like ”Holy shit, what is happening?” Then like after awhile like you jump in and you end up kind of making some friends. It’s cool.
David: I really can’t be serious when I’m answering those questions.
Kevin: It’s hard to be serious.
David: Whatever the stupidest thing that pops up in my head first whenever I hear a question is what comes out.
Kevin: A lot of answers end up just being butthole or sandwiches or gort
David: Penis farts.
Kevin: Penis farts which is a gort. So just anything but they’re fun. I like those.
David: I’m hoping to do more of them actually.
Kevin: I wish the internet on our bus actually worked.
David: Yeah

5. You’ve toured with All Time Low and Valencia twice, was it nice going on a tour similar to one before it?
Kevin: Um, Valencia…it’s always fun to tour with those guys. They’re our buddies for sure. All Time Low is also our friends and they’re humongous right now so that, you know, it’s awesome to hang out with those dudes, play a few shows.
David: I just got into Valencia’s newest record like maybe a month or two ago so I’ve been like maybe more stoked because I knew the words and stuff watching them live. The lyrics really mean a lot to me so it’s kind of cool to have friends that I really respect their music.
Kevin: Yeah, it’s a lot different when….Like it’s one thing to go on a tour and not really know anybody before you show up. It’s a whole other feeling when like you go on tour and it’s like just your friends. So you’re like “Oh, fuck yeah let’s get retarded!” you know? You know you’re not making it home after that tour. One of yous gonna die.

6. Did you discover any new bands on Warped Tour this year?
David: Um yeah, Lights, I really like Lights. Her music is really like just laid back but it’s still catchy and it’s not like screaming and all that stuff that kind of like annoys me.
Kevin: The only thing I’ve gotten into, I mean I was conscious of it before, but I really gotten stoked on it since I’ve been on Warped Tour is POS. He plays the stage right next to us sometimes before us, sometimes after us, but no matter what I’m always like “Damn, damn.” It’s so good! I mean I think POS is the only one so far, I’m hoping to find somebody else.
David: Also Westbound Train.
Kevin: I heard about them.
David: They’re awesome. Kind of like…uh, they’ve got ska element tones and also like a big band kind of like covers and stuff like that.

7. What’s one thing you’d change about Warped Tour ?
Kevin: More showers. [laughs]
David: Um, something I would change? I would make teleport stations so you could just teleport from stage to stage, backstages to stage. But I guess that’s not really a problem with Warped Tour, that’s more just like a problem with uh physics in general.

And one thing you wish more tours had that Warped Tour has?

David: I think uh just kids willing to get dirty. You know a lot of kids who are in clubs are just there, like it’s a fashion show. Like here I feel like everybody’s kind of demoted to being ugly because it’s nasty outside.
Kevin: Kids come to have fun at Warped Tour. They come to have fun. You wouldn’t pay 30, 40 dollars if you weren’t here to enjoy yourselves. I hope. So it’s cool. And you know, too, I feel like most tours it’s like you’re playing if you know you’re direct support or opening for someone you know not everyone’s there for you. You have a lot of people to impress. But at Warped Tour pretty much people in front of you, they’re there to see you. They have at least some amount of interest in your band. You’re there to uh just do what you do and you hope that they like it.
David: Also the fact that you can gain a lot of fans that have no idea who you.
Kevin: Exactly like a lot of kids just hear the name and go “I’m going to go check this out.”
David: Or they just walk by and they hear you.
Kevin: It’s cool.

8. If you could rename Warped Tour, what would you call it?
David: That’s a tough one. Stinky, Smelly, Pukey Tour.
Kevin: [laughs] Puke Fest ’09. I don’t know…Gort Fest. That’s what I’d call it, Gort Fest.
David: Sweat Your Tits Off Fest
Kevin: That’s G-O-R-T. Gort Fest. Look it up. It’s when your penis farts. It’s called a gort, it’s very rare but it happens.
David: Oh the gort has shown it’s ugly head again.
Kevin [in funny voice]: Oh the ugly face the gort.

Part 2
1. If you could be any fictional character, who would you be and why?
David: I would like to be Cartman from South Park ‘cause he’s kickass.
Kevin: I can’t really think of any, maybe Frakenstein. You know, I’d like to fuck people up.
David: So I pick Cartman and you get to be Frankenstein?
Kevin: Fuck yeah, dude. I’d be fucking huge. No one would ever talk shit and I’d just take what I want all the time. That would be awesome. I would be green.
David: Cartman’s great because he’s got a lot of like underlying self esteem issues but he takes it out on everybody else and like still gets away with it.
Kevin: I think Frankenstein issues. He’s not even real, man. He was fucking made on a table. He didn’t have a mom. That’s a bum-out. You ever not had a mom? It sucks.
David: I think Cartman’s mom was in a porno so…
Kevin: That’s sexy.

2. If you could take one trip through time, where would you go and why?
Kevin: Oh, shit.
David: Trips through time.
Kevin: I always want to go back in time.
David: I could take a trip back to the Garden of Eden and realize that it doesn’t really exist.
Kevin: You’d just be staring at Eve’s boobs all day wouldn’t you?
David: Don’t eat that apple. Don’t eat that apple. You’re going to have to have babies, don’t eat that apple!
Kevin: It will fuck your vagina up if you eat that apple. Let’s see, if I could go back in time. I think maybe I would go back to the 80’s. I’d want to be like this age in the 80’s and really fucking live it up, you know? I think that’d be cool. I’d just go back every decade and spend like a year just going back in time at least.
David: Also dinosaur times.
Kevin: Oh hell yeah, dude. I’d love to see some dinosaurs.
David: I’d probably die in like 5 seconds.
Kevin: Oh, dude, bring a laser. Have you ever seen a dinosaur fight a laser? That’s not possible.
David: We have lasers?
Kevin: Go to the future first and then go back in time, you bring a laser, fuck that dinosaur up.
David: I bet dinosaur meat is delicious. Probably like chicken.
Kevin: Probably like steak.
[random banter]
Kevin: I don’t know. I’d go back anywhere. Medieval times. That’d be sweet, too.
David: You’d die in 5 seconds.
Kevin: I’d carry a sword everywhere. It would be awesome.
David: You’d be dead.
Kevin: I’d strap swords to my arms and walk around.
[more random banter]

3. What’s your guilty pleasure TV show or movie?
David: The Today Show. The View.
Kevin: It’s hard for me to say guilty pleasure because I’m not really ashamed of anything, you know, who I am.
David: You have no shame.
Kevin: Yeah, I got no shame. Clearly, I’ve got no shame here. [gestures to short shorts] But um, I love Project Runway. Honest as fuck. I try not to miss an episode but unfortunately I missed almost the whole last season on tour. I’ll catch up .

4. Who is your favorite historical figure?
Kevin: Frankenstein. Can I do that twice? No. [laughs]
David: I’m going to have to go with uh….with uh Karl Marx.
Kevin: Uh, historical figure. Uh, Kramer? [laughs] Kramer, he’s my favorite historical figure.
David: Again, not a historical figure.
Kevin: Can’t think of anybody else.
David: Elvis?

Part 3

Describe each member of the band in one word.
David: Kevin, he’s uh…
Kevin: Just one word or can we use a phrase?
MLM: It can be a phrase.
Kevin: That’s a little bit easier. One word is a little hard. For Dave I’d say hot sauce. That’s how I’d describe Dave.
David: For Kevin I would say um Italian sausage.
Kevin: [laughs] For Nate I’d say he-man.
David: That’s true. Omar, uh…
Kevin: [says something mean and then asks me not to print it]
David: Bunch-a-crunch. Scraps, he’s always eating everybody’s scraps.
Kevin: Uh, I’d say the dark, I’ll call him that, the dark meat.
David: Okay, for Nick, I would say he would be uh….
Kevin: Bald
David: No, bald but uh, farty pants, dude.
Kevin: Ah, yes, yes.
David: He’s like a leaky, a leaky uh valve.
Kevin: Mostly only when he eats peanut butter.
David: Yeah, you can’t shut him off.
Kevin: But unfortunately on like a usual tour there’s so much peanut butter and jelly in the backstage room. And he will consistently make peanut butter sandwiches. We will take them out of his hands. You’ll still see him with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and we’re like “dude, stop eating peanut butter.” Then [makes noise] for the rest of the night.

Who in the band is the messiest?
Kevin: Omar
cleanest?
Kevin: I’d like to say me for that one. But it depends if you’re talking about space or body-wise. Space, I’m going to say I am.
David: I’m going to go with Nate overall.
Kevin: Really?
David: Yeah.
Kevin: I’d say me and Nate are pretty tied but…
David: I’m just going to say Nate. I’m sorry. It’s not me.
Kevin: It’s definitely not you. He tries. He tries hard but it just doesn’t work. I’d say me and Nate are pretty tied but if you’re gonna add in body with it then it’s probably Nate. I’m kind of a dirty dude.
quietest?
Kevin: No one’s really quiet.
David: Yeah. I’ve got my moments.
Kevin: I think we all kind of have our moments but none of us are really quiet. We’re best friends. Like who’s quiet around their best friends? That’s fucking retarded, you know? It’s dumb.
craziest?
Kevin: That’s all of us. Craziest? I don’t know. Some people are a little crazier than the others. Nick’s pretty damn crazy. Omar’s pretty damn crazy.
David: If you give Nick some alcohol, he’s crazy.
Kevin: Yeah, Nick’s the craziest. We’re all pretty nuts.